Top Tips for Making Friends in the New School Year

Hey Parents:

When I was 16, I read Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People” for the first time. The book had a profound inspiration on my interest in interpersonal communications. 

While written over 80 years ago, these principles are timeless. We teach them to our students to help them to develop social skills, and to prepare them for adulthood. Hey, they don’t teach this stuff in school. Right? 

The sooner that kids begin to understand (and practice) these principles, the greater advantage they will have compared to their peers who did not take the time to learn them. Lots of people are smart. Lots of people work hard. Often times the difference is your people skills - your ability to relate to others.

A critical point to understand is that one need not be an extrovert to have a winning personality. The answer is not to create a false bravado and to be someone you are not. Less can be more. Don't talk more, or louder. Listen more actively. Ask questions that demonstrate interest in the other person. People want to be recognized. By recognizing that the person you are speaking with is the most important person in the room, you are more apt to make a genuine connection. Sincerity is what matters. The fact is, once you become genuinely interested in other people, conversations are much more interesting. We don't learn anything new when talking. So it becomes a win-win. 

BucksMont Tae Kwon Do is "More Than Just Fitness." We inspire kids to become the best version of themselves. We provide opportunities to practice and develop leadership skills.

Here are Mr. Carnegie’s first 9 principles to guide people to be genuinely well-liked. If you have not read "How to Win Friends and Influence People," or if you have not read it in years, I highly recommend reading / re-reading it. They have modernized it to address the usage of technology, but as you might expect, the principles still apply.    

1. Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.

2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.

3. Arouse in the other person an eager need or want.

4. Become genuinely interested in other people.

5. Smile.

6. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

7. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.

8. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.

9. Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.